It's been pretty nice, actually. I've left most of my stressors at home. I haven't had to worry about appointments, mental health groups, tutoring sessions, or pesky housemates. The people I'm around here are darn-right bearable!
I really miss my boyfriend. But it's not like I would have seen him any more if I had stayed home. He texted recently to ask if I was home, apparently because he had an idea to cheer me up. I hadn't spoken to him or left any clues recently to tip off any sort of problem. But he figured that he should do something for me, just on the off chance that I needed him.
I wish it were easier for me to spend time with him and make natural conversation and not be a total Nucklehead McSpazzatron! I wish relationships weren't such hard work.
All this wishing is utterly pointless. I have a rough idea of how to get what I want in life. And I'm pretty much working to make it all happen. I need God's help and I've told asked Him so many times. I'm trying to deserve it.
I'm so fat and cold and white.
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