Update

I keep meaning to write. Really, I do.
I haven't had crippling episodes of depression lately but I'm desperate to get outside of my own head. I can't stand it in there.
I've been working out 1-3x per week since mid-January. Sometimes with my mom at the Orem Fitness Center on an old stationary bike, and sometimes alone at UVU in one of their open rooms.
At UVU I use a leg press weighted cable machine, and bicep curl weighted cable machine(preacher curl).
I track my activity 24/7 with a Fitbit One personal fitness tracker.

 I was doing well at tracking my food too but stopped because it got depressing and shameful.
I ordered a bike from Walmart.com for home use. It was $124 before tax. It will be available for pickup either Tuesday or Wednesday(my 25th b-day is the 13th!).

As for dating... I keep thinking that I've finally found someone who understands me, then they lose my number(if you know what I mean). A couple weeks ago I went to a movie(The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey) and had a blast. This guy is sweet and perfect for me. After the date he told me that he thought he was ready for a new relationship but actually isn't. We still text, though. I think there's a real possibility of something nice with him.

I'm starting to think that I'm making myself mentally sicker than I am. Because, how else am I supposed to get any attention? Do I have to pretend to be sicker so that someone will care? I'm not a good actress and pills will come up in toxicity screening tests.

I started new classes at UVU last month. They give me something to do but I'm finding that they don't occupy me enough. I still have too much time to think and be responsible for my own thoughts and actions.