Ongoing Shitfest

Of all the things in my life that are terrible and out of my control, this week takes the cake. Dirt cake maybe?

A quick catch-up for the random international readers I seem to have:
My dear mother bought a home in a small town to live in with my younger brother and I (in this economy, it's an arrangement that has suited us fine in other places). My homeless sister and her four children moved into the basement apartment.
Right before Christmas, my older brother and his fiancee and her two children moved in to get away from an unhealthy situation and squeezed into the basement until we could make room for mattresses and sleeping bags in our living room, which had been holding unsorted moving boxes and still does.
Now they are settled in there with wall-to-wall belongings and I don't need to go into detail about the rest of our shared space.
Well, I finally found a job that I could be in long-term. So I reported the income change to a local agency which provides me with funds for groceries and very basic health care coverage, resulting in those things being taken away because my employer reported that I make a lot more money than I actually do. It's been over a month since that trouble started and I'm still trying to fix it.
In addition, a licensing fee that I'm not responsible for paying was deducted from my paycheck a few weeks ago. When I checked my payslip today to see how much to expect in my account I noticed that I'm not getting payed for last week because for some reason I had to approve my hours again after my manager did and I didn't do that by the payroll deadline.
All of this while I'm recovering from being hit by a car while crossing the street to get to work two days ago. My manager is demanding to know when I'll be able to come back to work and that I bring a doctor's note when I do.
I don't fucking know when I'll be back. I can't do the tasks that my job requires right now. Moving my dominant arm HURTS. I can't wash my hair or dress properly or put together meals.
Nobody's fucking grateful for anything I do and it's never enough. And when I'm moody, there's something wrong with ME.

The L Word

I met someone recently, on OKCupid. He initiated contact by sending me a message that caught my interest.

I have to ask what other dorky things are you into. And brown coats or are you a purple belly.

That was Friday (today is Tuesday, or it was when we had our first date, anyway). We've been texting almost nonstop since then and today we got together for a movie date.
Before the movie we had time to kill so we walked around the mall near the theater and walked into a video game store to browse. He picked up a few games and told me about them. Then I picked up The Testament of Sherlock Holmes in the Xbox section. I showed him and expressed excitement about it then put it back on the shelf. Just a minute later he decided to buy it for me! A few minutes after leaving the game store I told him that I've got an Xbox but need a new power supply - so he offered to go back and get one! I would let him. Instead we sat and talked until time to go to our movie.
He took me to Jurassic World (starring Chris Pratt <3). We cuddled the whole time and he even kissed me, and bit my neck and ear a few times!
After the movie we decided to grab something to eat and ended up at Denny's. The french toast is SO YUMMY. I drew tiger stripes on the milkshake picture on the placemat because neither side was a blank canvas. B stared at me while I ate and we a good, long conversation.
After dinner we drove around and he took us to a secluded place to park. We kissed and fooled around a little then went on a walk to find a darker place to do the dirty. It was so romantic how he supported my head and back with his hands as he lowered me to the ground. He has really firm biceps! I won't go into too much detail on this blog but my time on the ground with him and every other moment with him was immensely enjoyable.
Between dinner and grass stains he externally battled with a thought in his head that he wanted to say but was sure it would freak me out, scare me off. I convinced him that I wasn't going anywhere and that I wanted to know what was on his mind. Several minutes later he said "I love you". I was shocked and aroused. I told him that I didn't want to say it back until I knew for sure I wouldn't regret it.
He's still worried that he freaked me out, despite much assurance from me that I'm not.

I really like this man.

It's Been A While

I don't know how long it has been since I've last written on this blog but I'd rather not glance at the last thing. Many, if not all, of my posts are quite disturbing and/or depressing. I don't think this one will be so bad. While I'm on the topic of my blog... Why did I have 21 views from Russia on March 27th? That seems incredibly odd to me, even considering it's Russia! Anyway, my life is not awesome right now. It's so unstable. I was diagnosed with Chlamydia a while ago at Planned Parenthood. I have run out of safe excuses to get a ride to or from that clinic so I decided to have the student clinic at UVU get my PP records so that a doctor there can prescribe the treatment. Planned Parenthood legally has 30 days from the date they receive the request for my records to send them. Meanwhile, I'm reeeally uncomfortable and can't have sex!! I'm keeping up in my Excel/Access class but English is bad! A couple weeks ago I was holding a C grade but I feel that I may not pass with a C- by the time final grades are submitted. I have been unable to do any English homework in the past two weeks because I've been dealing with my sister's problems. More on that later. I have an Incomplete grade for Personal Finance from last semester because I was overwhelmed but my teacher understood that I had really tried. Now it is difficult for me to get him to reply to my emails. Besides a giant project for that class, I just have to study up to take some quizzes and tests. I can't go forward with that until I can make arrangements with him to do the tests and quizzes and not worry about the project because that is what is preventing my success! Back to my sister. She moved from Phoenix, AZ to Fort Duchesne, UT in December (2014) with her 4 kids (daughters ages 15, 12, and 9; son age 9). The twins are both autistic. Soon after moving to Utah she announced her engagement to someone we have never met or even knew she was dating. Shortly after, they got married. They lived in a small camper trailer on the in-law's property and one day there was a brawl between my sister and her new sister-in-law. Shit happened. It sucked. My oldest niece (in that clan) even got cut by glass. My sister fled with her kids to our grandmother's house nearby and stayed there (sans husband) for a few weeks before coming down to the area where I live with our mom. That was a little over two weeks ago. She stayed a few nights in a roach motel courtesy of an organization which assists impoverished families and individuals. After that she had to crash in the living room where I am staying for a few nights. She took the kids to visit her husband for a night and that royally pissed off the homeowners so my mom had to pay for an extended stay hotel, where she is now. While she's been down here I have been responsible for her kids, helping her navigate to every government office and apartment/trailer park in the area, and providing her with information on every thing she needs to do (phone numbers, office hours, eligibility requirements, calling places for her)... Those are the big issues that are on my mind. I can't even make plans more than an hour in advance because I just don't know whether or not I'll be needed for something. This thoroughly blows. I guess that was a bit of a rant but there's really nothing good going on in my life. I'm even kinda pissed that suicide is not an option.

They Came From Everywhere

I'm fucking mad. And the worst part is that I'm more mad at my 80-something grandmother than anyone else. She's a saint of a woman who gives me attitude about everything (or so it feels) and throws away things without asking anyone who actually lives here.

She started cleaning out our fridge, to actually wash it but left bins full of yogurt and sandwich meat out on the floor and the meat was barely cool when I found it. Because my dad left us I'm being forced out of my home of 15 years and relatives have come pouring in to help clean and pack our house. Well, apparently that means throw everything away that we probably won't miss. And leave odd boxes of things in halls and doorways.